Envy.

So it was definitely a bad idea to start talking to Caleb. It's not that I want him --god forbid!-- so much as it is that it brings to the front exactly what I'm missing. I want a guy that will be excited to go and do things with me instead of just resigned. I want a guy whose idea of showing me he cares isn't grabbing my ass in public. I want someone who will show initiative and who won't just shrug if I leave. I'm trying to decide if this constitutes game-playing or attention-seeking, but I think that would only be the case if I actually did walk away to illicit a reaction. Ideally, I should probably just talk to him. Not that there would be a point, probably. Guys don't change and I wish that I would stop thinking that they might. I just can't be happy with anything.